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| Superman vs Clark Kent |
In this piece I write about something we don't get to discuss, not just about fathers but men. I believe we should jettison social media correctness here. Yes, it's OK to rant (not a 'Kanye' though). We are told in leadership classes to always be diplomatic with our words - right. I think I have been nice and dandy thus far so a little 'anti' won't hurt shebi? So I will be playing Ugly Duckling here. I trust you can handle it. (It will be our little secret).
A Man's World!
Society and the media drum this into our craniums with reckless abandon. Truth be told it's a man's world - mankind that is. Men are projected to be large and in charge. You hear every conceivable title being conferred on him: "Boss", " Chairman", "Presido", " Jagaban", "Chief", "Don" and the litany of them. Masculinity is being celebrated as superior - almost inferring that if you are not born a male-man, you are down the perking order.
These and many other constructs and stereotypes coupled with religion and culture have reinforced the belief that men really are divine - and indeed we are! This is why couples would do anything to have a male child. Certain opportunities are considered the exclusive preserve of males. I don't need to stretch it - I am sure you catch my drift.
Super-man. Literally!
So by default and design, every man thinks he is the saviour of the world, the solution to the problems wherever he finds himself; so he steps out to fulfill his date with destiny - The Dominion MANdate.
So the struggle begins right from the womb (guess that's why we kick harder) to birth, infancy, adolescence, adulthood - the struggle to measure up to the label of what a real man should be. Initially by trial and error. So he sleeps with as many girls, gets more degrees than a thermometre, gets high on crack, kills to be in power, does anything to get money - all to prove himself to his world as the 'MAIN MAN'.
Clark Kent
He does not realize that his cape is for "superman" while he is really Clark Kent. The challenge being that the world know you as "superman" more that they know you to be Clark Kent. As far as they are concerned, "superman" is a man of steel, "superman" can take care of himself, "superman" can take a bullet for anyone, "superman" should inspire others, "superman" should be at everyone's beck and call and the one that really gets to me - that "superman" should always render his services pro bono to everyone!
So the Clark Kent in him is suffering silently. How does he tell the world he too has needs? Without falling his hands?
Implosion!
Not everyone can handle it! That's why you see people who have no previous criminal record commit the most heinious of crimes. That's why you hear of how people slump and die. This may be one of the top reasons men take out their frustrations out on their wives. Some go insane. Others even commit suicide.
I submit to you that men are dealing with pressure you can't imagine. They don't speak out because 'weakness' is not allowed by society's standards. They can't even cry - at least not in public. Yet most men are cracking up under pressure and especially so in these trying times.
A lot is expected from him, so if for some unfortunate reason he cannot meet up - his ego is crushed. Society have wrongly equated greatness and perfection. What a world!
Help our solution!
I believe it's time to take care of our men more. Inside that man is a little boy who still loves candy. Behind that macho demeanour, abs and bravado persona is a tender and soft heart. Sometimes we want to be taken out on date nights too, be pampered and be doted upon. For the married ones, it's not every time they want to be missionaries - they want another revelation! Not only women need empowerment, men need it too. When we fight wars out there, the last thing we need is to return home and fight another war - except it's the Good Fight of Faith! Help us meet our needs and cut us some slack. Mbok!
Inspirational MI...?
Don't be alarmed. I have not become a relationship coach. Just my two cents based on Emotional Intelligence and Empathy. The Praise Fowowes, the Dr. Yolandas, Lanre Olusolas, Matthew Adedoyins, Dinma Nwobis and Bridget Elesins can do a better job than myself.
Enough said. Not to sound as a young OG either but the world should put more efforts into studying the workings and dynamics of men. Just maybe it will put an end to that unfortunate cliché: "all men are the same".
Thanks for Reading!
Have yourselves an inspired life!
Facebook: Mfonobong Inyang
Twitter: @inspiredMI_
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Email: mfonobonginyang@gmail.com
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